pseudo book review

After stalking The Friday Night Knitting Club on the library's card catalog (or whatever it's called in these newfangled times), I finally happened to be at the library on the day it was waiting to be reshelved, and I got one of the nice employees to find it for me. "Yay!" I thought. "Something light and fun, and bonus: it's about knitting!"
Well. I'm not going to go into details in case anyone hasn't read it yet, but it has a sad ending! I was furious! I know a lot of people like sad movies and sad books, but I have never understood why. Maybe nobody else gets a really bad headache whenever they cry like I do? Whatever the reason, when I read a book, or worse, watch a movie, I want to be happy. I want to laugh, and maybe some minor sad thing can happen, but don't do anything drastic like killing off characters I like! Life is sad enough, and I get plenty of chances to cry. In fact, lately even many happy movies make me cry. So don't frickin' make me cry when I'm trying to take a break from all this and just be entertained! There are so many movies in which this is done in a way that seems totally gratuitous to me. The characters go through all this stuff, conflict, denouement, blah blah blah, and finally they make it and if you ended the movie right there, it would be a perfect happy ending, but then they add five minutes to the end where the main character is suddenly run over by a log truck or drowned or something. Why why why?!?!
I know not everybody feels this way, so I think there should be a rating system for movies and books, based on the Greek symbols for comedy and tragedy. Just put a little smiley face on the ones with a happy ending, and put a frowny face on the ones with a sad ending. Then everybody knows what they're getting and people like me don't have to stand there scrutinizing the cover for keywords like "bittersweet" (always a dead giveaway for a frowny) or "you'll laugh and cry" (ambiguous).
So. I warn you all. The Friday Night Knitting Club is a frowny. It's a good book, I liked the characters, it's well written; if you don't mind reading frownies, I recommend it. But you won't see me at the theater when the movie comes out--I won't be there unless I completely forget about the ending, which I have been known to do. (Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants anyone?)